“As long as it’s talking with you, talk of the weather will do.”
- Built to Spill, “The Weather”

I know, I know, I know. The weather is boring. I might as well talk about my health. But apparently it’s decided to bypass spring entirely and skip to summer. Days are long and sunny, nights retain that shadow of warmth. Jackets are brought just in case and then never used. The twilight shimmers with gold dust. Et cetera.
This year’s inaugeral cookout was a copycat affair. I’ve never been to Bouchon Bakery, but I read about their fancypants sliders on A Hamburger Today. The burgers, according to Ed Levine, are “three [Wagyu] sliders on house-made brioche buns with a pinch of sea salt on top [whose] condiments included ricotta cheese, a schmear of garlic aïoli, and tomato marmalade.” I read that and decided, I can do that.
Ricotta was easily purchased and tomato jam easily made, but no preparation could turn my 90% lean ground beef into Wagyu. I was able to make my peace with this though, and while I knew it really should have been only 80% lean, the small patties were plenty juicy. There was no way in hell that I’d churn out brioche just for some casual grilling, but some store-bought dinner rolls did nicely. I skipped the aïoli entirely, but when assembled, they were plenty impressive without.

I served my sliders alongside a smoky grilled corn salad and a more conventional green salad with avocado. The corn salad was as simple as it was good: corn and red pepper charred by the grill and brightened with citrus and cilantro. It was a hit.
Also a hit were my bitty burgers. My biggest complaint is that because of their size and the briskness of the evening, they went ice cold in a matter of minutes. Even cold, though, they were delicious. The creaminess of the ricotta, unlike that of a more conventional cheeseburger, was not temperature dependent, and the tomato jam, when applied liberally, provided a sweet, acidic highlight to the bite. We discovered they were even better bunless, with the salt crust bringing out the meatiness of the slider patty. Imitation Bouchon is certainly not for the everyday, but it was worth the effort and worth, perhaps, seeking out the original.
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